Leadership Roundtable: Coaching with Jared Narlock

Claire Bosma, MBA, Ten Adams: Jared Narlock is our keynote speaker and we’re thrilled to have him. He is an author and talent development coach who teaches leaders how to build highly engaged and accountable teams.

He has more than 16 years of experience partnering with C-level executives, chief culture officers, leaders ,and HR professionals. His background encompasses all level of human resources, with an emphasis in organizational development and employee relations.

Jared is a former Vice President of talent development and a TEDx speaker. His writings have been published on Forbes,  ATD, and training industry.

After being honorably discharged from the United States Air Force and finishing his graduate degree, Jared went on to further his passion for learning and serving others by obtaining certifications with the International Coach Federation as an Associate Certified Coach and with the Society for Human Resource Management as a Senior Certified Professional.

His new book Becoming a Peaceful Powered Leader: How to Shed Fear, Live Courageously and Own Your Peace, provides leaders with a toolkit for becoming more effective by replacing often ineffective external efforts with powerful internal shifts.

So, it is my pleasure today to welcome Jared Narlock to our June Leadership Roundtable. Please join me in welcoming him, and Jared, it is my pleasure to introduce you to the leadership of Trinity Health.

Jared Narlock, MPA, SHRM-SCP: Thanks so much, yes, thank you Claire. Appreciate it and appreciate the opportunity to be able to speak with you all. I’ve heard some wonderful things about the group there at Trinity from the wonderful folks at Ten Adams and I’m really excited to talk to you about this topic today because it is one that is seen a lot of different ways from different people when that word “coach” comes about.

It’s probably one of the most commonly used words from a leadership capacity that people have so many different experiences with. I know early on in my career, I would have people say “Oh, I want to have a coaching conversation with you” and looking back today, it was an advice-giving session which – it was great it helped – but very different from what truly coaching is and what it can do, and the power behind it.

And so today, we’re going to talk about “The Power of Leader as Coach” and it’s one of those pieces where you’re going to walk away with one specific resource. I always like to give tools that you can walk away with and take action on immediately, and, at the same time, knowing that you have a full schedule, you have a lot going on. It can be difficult and that’s something that I know, I always acknowledge and we’ll talk about that too, of the realities of the current workplace and where this will give you time but initially feels like it takes more time.

And so, I want to put that out there because that’s the reality lots of times. People see a new tool and they say “that’s great I want to use it, but do you understand what’s going on in my world right now?” And, as Claire mentioned I’ve been in multiple leadership roles and primarily in healthcare and experienced that and I know there’s a lot going on in those days. And so, when we come across a tool that seems valuable that we know can have an impact, we want to use it and it’s figuring out how do we really find time to anchor it into an already existing habits that we may have.

So I’m going to jump into this and as Claire said there’ll be a time for questions as well, and I want to start first off with “What is a coach?” 

Talking about that word coaching because there are so many different thought patterns around it, not to say that any of those are wrong, but when you hear me use the term coach today, as well as when you hear me use the term leader, I want to scope it for us and talk about specifically what that means and what we’re referencing for the purposes of our time together today.

So for the first one being coach I like to use the ICF, the International Coach Federation, their definition. I am an ICF certified coach. If you’re saying “okay that’s great, what is that the International Coach Federation?” they are considered the utmost authority when it comes to the world of credentialed coaching. They’re the ones that people go to, they’re the ones that when people go into a coaching program, they’re looking to say “is this credentialed? Is it connected to the ICF?” because of the work that they do, and it’s a governing body that’s a big piece.

Does that mean that each of you as a leader needs to be certified as a coach? No, not at all, but for the work that I get to do, because it is connected to what I’m doing daily, I like to have that that governing body and the ICF is that with their code of conduct. 

So, when we talk about coaching today, I want to talk about it using their definition which is one that’s highly regarded.

And, it’s coaching as partnering with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process, those are going to be the two key words that we focus on in here: thought-provoking and creative.

That is so huge when we discuss leader as coach and the power behind it and that creative process that inspires individuals to maximize their personal and professional potential. 

And that’s another thing that I love about coaching. It’s something that I’ve experienced as a leader and something that many of my clients who are leaders in different organizations have experienced – the win-win that comes out of coaching for the employees, for the leader and, ultimately, for the organization.

And the well-being, where it goes beyond the workplace for those individuals that understand the power of coaching that get into that accountability mindset of “Oh, I can ask myself, these questions,”- that thought provoking process. And it has this impact, and they’re able to take it outside of work, which is something that I always enjoy when I’m introduced to something that goes into every area of my life.

And so, when we talk about coaching that’s what I’m referencing and I’m really picking into those two pieces of thought provoking and creative because that’s essential. That’s what comes out of coaching, that’s why it’s different than directing, telling, advising pieces that we’ve helped because we’ve been on a journey sometimes as leaders and someone comes and says, “Hey I’m struggling with this do you have any insights?”

And it’s one of those pieces, where we say “Yes, I do, I have the ability to, almost in a way, be a hero for that person to provide them some insights where they say ‘that’s great I would have never thought of that.’”

But it’s so much more powerful when we’re able to give powerful questions, instead of answers that yes, they may be able to use that one time or further.

But as we ask those questions. It becomes more thought-provoking, it allows them to take a step back and say, “Well, I have to think about that.”

And I know that can be hard. I remember sitting in a room about a decade ago with a group of market presidents in a healthcare system, and they were talking about continuous improvement. And they were talking about curiosity and asking questions and, being a coach at the time, I was thinking “Oh, this is interesting, this is a coaching approach.”

And one of the leaders, he said “ooh this is really hard for me because I’ve gotten to where I am in my career because I know the answers and I’m able to make those decisions when people come in that ask for what route to go, and now you’re telling me to take a step back and instead not give answers, but ask questions?

And so we’re going to talk about that shift and why it’s so important and through the power of coaching why we’ll essentially all get to be the hero, even though it does feel good sometimes when one of those associates, one of those employees comes up and says “hey you know I’m looking for an answer on this,” you’re able to give it, they say “yes that’s what I need it.” 

And so, when it comes to a leader, I like to use Dr Brené Brown’s definition of a leader, and as Claire shared I have a background in Dare to Lead and [am] certified through Dr Brené Brown and that material. I got to spend a few days with her and if you’re not familiar with her, wow that is somebody who is very curious. She’s a social science researcher, has some wonderful New York Times bestselling books, has a special right now on HBO Max, if you have that, around her newest book The Atlas of the Heart, which plays into emotions and we’re going to talk a little bit about that, today, but if you want to explore further, beyond this, I encourage you to do that.

But, I like to use this definition that she brought forward a leader is anyone who takes responsibility for finding the potential in people and processes and has the courage to develop that potential. 

Now a couple of key things I want to focus on there – number one is potential in people and processes. And that’s such a big one. Sometimes when we talk about leadership and we think about the impact that we have on people, and to really connect those and how those people develop those processes, how we partner with them, going back to that definition of coach – it is a partnership – but ultimately, they’re the guide. They’re saying “this is where I want to get to” and as a leader we’re saying “I’m going to help you, I’m going to help you through getting to the answers on your own, through exploring that.” 

And that’s where a lot of that courage comes in, because we don’t know. When it comes to courage, I like to define courage as stepping into something that we don’t know what’s on the other side.

If I know what’s on the other side, even though it may be difficult, even though it may be hard, even though, you know, it’s something that I feel a sense of accomplishment, it’s not necessarily that level of courage, because I knew, I knew what was on the other side, versus courage, “I don’t know where this is going to go.”

And, I’ll tell you, I’ve had success – far more success – in coaching as a leader versus not. Even though there are those instances, and I’ll share one today where, you know, it didn’t turn out that way, because sometimes people don’t want to step into that empowerment and that locus of control that they have.

But, one that comes to mind in this example of coach and leader is an individual, I’ll share, her name is Jodi and she was one of my direct reports years ago. And I remember taking this opportunity – it was a my first director role – and as I stepped into the director role, it was one of the things that my leader at the time she said, “you know Jared one of the specific reasons that myself and the interview committee…”

And I went through, you know what felt like a full multiple days of interviews and almost that that gauntlet, however, so supported, a lot of curious questions asked, and sometimes I didn’t answer them, but instead would say, “You know here’s how I would answer it, but here’s the question” and she said “That was something that stood out because we know this group, we want to get to a level of empowerment. They’re used to being told traditionally, and we’re not going to be able to get to that vision as an organization that we’re working towards, if they’re not stepping into the empowerment that they have” and so that was a key focus out the gate as I was setting up one-to-ones and discussing different things with them.

This individual Jodi, she was someone that she would be defined by Gallup or any of the employee engagement companies that are out there as ambivalent, not engaged, not disengaged, but ambivalent.

She came to work, she enjoyed what she was doing, but she had been told at one point from her perspective, “this is her box and here’s what she gets to do in that box” and she did those things. If you gave her a process, she would do that process from A to Z as planned, and so a lot of people say “that’s great she was a good employee.”

However, you know, is one of those pieces, where I saw she wasn’t engaged and this is a big one, because sometimes leaders will say “well you know some of those people they like to come in, do their job, and go home, and that’s okay” and up until working with Jodi that had been a thought process for me as well, that you have people that are engaged, you have people that are ambivalent, you have people that just engaging, yes there’s something that I have to do with those disengaged,  either, you know, working to get them over here or discussing “Is it really the right role, the right organization if they’re not having some sort of connection to purpose?”

But for some people, they just want to come in and do their job go home. And so it had been months of talking with Jodi and really being curious with her and sharing, “Are there, areas that you want to grow and develop in? Are their processes that you want to expand on and change? And you know, looking at our vision as a division and as an organization.” 

And Jodi would say “No, you know, I appreciate you asking me that, but I enjoy what I do, you know, is it okay that just come in and do my job?” And I said “It is Jodi, but I want to make sure that you’re getting those opportunities.”

And so, one day, I asked her a question, because I, you know, would vary the questions at times and it seemed like a question I had asked before, but I said one word different.

And Jodi said, “You know that’s interesting Jared, you’ve never asked me that question that way before, and as you asked it, I was thinking about this process. You know, there is something I could do different about this process, in fact there’s a few things, and I thought about it, but you know, I’m not the owner, I’m just behind the scenes and I get the process ready for the leaders when they show up and they do it.”

And I said “Jodi, you are totally an owner in this process and those leaders appreciate the pieces that you do. They know that the whole thing is successful because of what you do to get it ready for that day when they step into it and have to do what they do.”

And she said “Well you know, do they do you think they’d be open to me, making some suggestions?”

And I said, “Well sure, like what Jodi?” And she said, “Well, I think we could do this, and I think it would have this impact, and I’ve been thinking about this and there’s actually three different ways that we could do this, that I think would be more beneficial.”

And I said, “Well Jodi, go for it. Let’s experiment, let’s see.” And she said, “I can do that?” And I said “Yes, by all means!” 

And so, then she stepped into it and she got very curious with it, and she’d come and she’d say “Jared, I ran into this hiccup here, and I’m struggling, what do you think I should do?” 

Now, as a leader I’m thinking “Ah, I got a lot going on, I know an answer to this, I can give her the answer and boom.”

But then I realize, this is going to create a process. This is going to create a process and the process of Jodi coming to me and asking for those answers and, yes, I can be a value to Jodi by giving those answers, but I can create so much more value for her, for me, and for the team and the organization if, instead, I asked her questions that get her thinking towards that solution-oriented mindset for herself.

And I said “Well Jodi, you know what about this?” And I asked her a question and she said “I hadn’t thought about that, but you know, as I reflect on it, I guess it could be this, and this, and this, and we could do that. So that sounds like a couple of different good options there.”

And so, she went forward and I remember her coming back the first time and she said “Jared it went like this and it went really well and the leaders had this experience and the employees had this experience and you know, it’s so great. And we talked about, you know, with the leaders at the end, I discussed with them any potential things that they saw could have went better and they gave me some feedback pieces, so I’m going to think about this.”

But what I saw was a shift. And, in prior you know when I asked Jodi, “Hey how’d that go?” she said, “Oh it’s good.” 

And I saw a different level of investment that she had in it, and she was owning it, and I saw her engagement shift and then I saw her start saying, “Hey, what about this process Jared?”

And, so it was interesting to see that and at the same time, I also had different conversations with Jodi and when we discussed, it was different. It wasn’t transactional, it was transformational, because she was coming with ideas, she was coming knowing I was going to ask questions and it became a much more curious environment.

And then the awesome thing happened. I saw Jodi, when people would approach Jodi for answers, start asking questions and explaining the why behind it so they understood. And how it continued to spread and then a really awesome thing happened was I got more time back.

And this is one of the toughest things for leaders is we’re pressed for time.

So often, when I’ll talk with leaders, and I had different leaders reporting me, and I’d say “Hey what’s the one thing you know, right now, that if I could give you, that, you know, remove this barrier, do this, what would it be?” And they’d say, “If you could give me more time.”

That was the consistent answer, “We need more time.”

And so I’d always share, “I can’t give you time, but we can work on processes that would potentially open up your time differently.”

And that is where leader as coach has that power. Has that power to truly create problem solvers. It does take more time initially, but then it also opens up our time as leaders to be operating within the realm of where the organization really needs us to.